‘A Part Of You’ Ending Explained & Film Summary: What Was Julia Hiding From Agnes?

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Grief is personal and often indescribable, especially one that involves a permanent loss. Everyone around you assures you that you will eventually learn to cope with it, but no one has a guidebook to help you through the process. A Part of You (En Del Av Dig) is an ode to grief, to an unfathomable loss, and it revolves around how those who are subjected to it try and cope in ways that are beyond the understanding of others. Directed by Sigge Eklund and starring Felicia Maxime and Edvin Ryding, A Part of You gets the turmoil and the confusion around grief just right.

Sisters Agnes and Julia were inseparable. They were unlike each other, but that did not hinder the love that they had for one another. Julia was extrovert and fun-loving, while Agnes was an introvert who dreamt of becoming a thespian. Agnes would often secretly watch her sister seamlessly transition from the caring sister to the most popular girl in school. Maybe somewhere deep down she too wanted to experience all that Julia did, but she was not the same person. Agnes had a secret crush on her sister’s boyfriend, Noel, and things often got awkward when he stopped by their house. As much as Agnes loved Julia, she was envious of the perfect life her sister lived.

Spoiler Alert


Why did Agnes transform herself?

Carina initially refused to allow Julia to attend a party, but Julia managed to convince her mother, given the condition that she took Agnes along with her. Julia was sloshed, and Agnes saw her get into an argument with Noel. Agnes was ready to leave the party when she noticed Julia drive away. Noel tried to stop Julia, but she did not pay heed to him. Julia met with an accident, and she succumbed to her injuries. Carina and Agnes struggled to process the sudden loss. It was Agnes’ birthday the next morning, and this was not how she had expected to spend her day. She was sad, angry, frustrated, and broken. Carina was so wrapped up in her sorrow that she did not take into consideration how difficult it was for Agnes to cope. Just because Agnes pretended she had it all under control, Carina decided to spend a few days with her mother at her house.

Agnes was left all alone to process Julia’s death, and she did not know how to handle the loss. She did not want to be treated differently by her classmates, so she avoided discussing the event. She tried to channel her pain into her performance, but even then, baring her heart out was not as easy. She refused to be vulnerable, and she ended up wearing her sister’s clothes as a protective shield. Agnes perhaps assumed that life as Julia would be somewhat easy to cope with. Maybe she wanted to experience everything Julia once did—being Agnes involved dealing with her mounting emotions, but as Julia, she was free.

Transforming into Julia allowed her to forget about the present and focus only on having fun. Her reaction could have also stemmed from anger; Agnes perhaps thought it was unfair that Julia left her all by herself to figure out life, and her refusing to take a step towards healing was almost a protest. Agnes became a part of Julia’s friend group. They thought it was strange that she was pretending to look like Julia, but no one said anything to her face because they assumed it was her way of coping with the loss. But as time passed, Agnes started to lose her traits and embodied Julia wholly. Esther, Julia’s friend and one-sided lover, could not put up with Agnes’ desperate attempt to become Julia. She clearly stated that she did not approve of Agnes’ healing process, but it further triggered Agnes to become more like Julia.


Why was Noel repulsed by the person Agnes had become?

Agnes had also gotten romantically involved with Noel. They were both grieving, and since they were closest to Julia, they sought support from one another. The house was a mess after Carina left, and Noel helped Agnes bring some order into her life. Agnes had always fancied Noel, and he too felt a certain way, especially when their fingers touched while watching television. He was with Julia at the time, and he did not give it much thought. The growing proximity between Noel and Agnes led to them getting physically involved. When Agnes caressed the tattoo on Noel’s arm, he was reminded of Julia, and he suddenly felt ashamed of getting involved with Agnes. Julia and Noel had gotten matching tattoos, and as much as he tried to move on, the little things made it tremendously difficult. Agnes tried to stop Noel from leaving, but he pushed her aside and left.

Agnes did not feel guilty about her involvement with Noel—her feelings for him were genuine, and since Julia had already left her in a precarious position, she must have believed that she did not owe Julia any explanation. Agnes tried to reconcile with Noel, but he continued to push her away. When she confronted him, Noel stated that she had started to look and behave more and more like Julia, and after being in a relationship with her, he was not ready to deal with the same emotional wreck that he had before. Agnes blamed Noel for her sister’s death because he was supposed to take her responsibility, but he had failed to do so. Noel knew Agnes did not know the whole truth about her sister, and he wanted her to understand that there was a dark side to Julia, which she had always hidden from Agnes. He hoped for Agnes to understand that becoming Julia was not an easy way to deal with life. She had complexities that were far beyond anything Agnes had known.


How did Agnes cope with the loss?

Carina realized she had made a terrible mistake by leaving Agnes alone when she returned home. Agnes was clearly struggling, and even though she tried to support her emotionally, she showed resistance. After returning home from a party where she had found out that there was something that Julia had hidden from her, she searched Julia’s room to find a clue. Agnes came across Julia’s phone, which was retrieved from the accident scene. She went through the texts exchanged between Julia and Carina, and she found out Julia had been suffering from severe anxiety and depression. She had confided in Carina, and that was why she was hesitant to allow Julia to attend the party alone. Julia chose to keep her condition a secret from Agnes, maybe because she did not wish for her to worry about it. Julia had been struggling silently with her mental health, and no one could confidently say if it was an accident or a suicide. It was a mix of both; her choosing to drive the car alone was suicidal, and the truck hitting her all of a sudden was an accident. Julia was tired of always feeling low, and after all the treatment and medication, she wondered if she would ever get rid of the constant panic she experienced. Julia considered taking her life, and that was the truth that Agnes had not known about her sister. She had always assumed that Julia’s life was perfect and that she had everything one could have asked for. After reading the texts, she realized she could not have been more wrong.

Agnes wondered if she had failed as a sister, but Carina assured her that she made Julia the happiest. All this while, she had been angry at Julia for her reckless ways and for leaving her alone, but after understanding her situation, she thought maybe they could have done more as a family. Maybe she could have been a better support; maybe she should have been with Julia throughout the party; maybe she should have held on to her tightly and helped Julia realize how important she was in her life. Agnes broke down for the first time after the incident, and she finally addressed the constant aching pain she felt in her chest.


How did Agnes become her own person?

Carina helped Agnes heal from the pain. She was there for her constantly, and maybe because she had already dealt with the loss, she could support Agnes. It was finally time for Agnes to be her own self and to stop hiding behind Julia’s wardrobe. She realized how she must have hurt Esther, and she met her at school to discuss it. Esther admitted that she too could not gather up the courage to pay her respects to Julia. It was not easy on her as well, and Agnes understood what Esther was going through.

In A Part of You‘s ending, Agnes realized that she had been rude to her theater teacher, Amir, and she made peace with him and her entire team. She tried to be more empathetic, and she realized the importance of the people around her and focused on becoming a better friend, student, and daughter. It was only after she forgave Julia and realized what she had been through that Agnes could finally visit her. The trees moved as the wind gushed through them, and in that moment, Agnes felt peaceful. Agnes took to the stage in the final scene of A Part of You. She had been through a magnitude of emotions, and the journey helped her become a better person. She had been waiting to ace the role she was assigned, and in the end, she succeeded. Julia would have been proud to see Agnes on stage. She always believed in her. Agnes perhaps realized that Julia would be the happiest if she was her authentic self. The ending also suggests that Agnes and Noel will continue to remain friends, and maybe they will pursue their relationship only after they heal from the loss.


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Srijoni Rudra
Srijoni Rudra
Srijoni has worked as a film researcher on a government-sponsored project and is currently employed as a film studies teacher at a private institute. She holds a Master of Arts degree in Film Studies. Film History and feminist reading of cinema are her areas of interest.

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