To some, the narrative of Aap Jaisa Koi might seem a bit idealistic, exaggerating certain aspects of the story, like the patriarchal nature of the society, but I am glad that we are talking about these issues. Directed by Vivek Soni, Aap Jaisa Koi is a heartwarming yet lighthearted drama that believes that a perfect rom-com always starts with a nerdy boy and a cute girl. It talks about dating culture, how the patriarchal mindset plays a key role in Indian society, and how gender roles become the yardstick to judge the character of a person. So let’s find out what happened in the story and if the cute girl and nerdy boy ended up with each other.
Spoiler Alert
How did Shrirenu meet Madhu?
Shrirenu, a 42-year-old Sanskrit teacher staying in Jamshedpur, had almost given up hope that he would ever find somebody to spend his life with. More than anything, he had had such embarrassing encounters with girls that he just didn’t want to meet anybody anymore. His sister-in-law, Kusum, was very supportive of him, and she believed that he would find a beautiful girl one day. Shrirenu led a very simple life, and it was as if he had gotten used to all the mockery and insults hurled at him, even by his own people. Shrirenu’s elder brother, Bhanu Tripathy, was a very successful real estate consultant/broker, and he often told Shrirenu to join him in his business, as he felt that he was wasting his time working a job that didn’t pay him that well. Bhanu was an extremely patriarchal man for whom everything was evaluated on the basis of money. He did not understand that a man could be passionate about a certain thing to the point that money wouldn’t be a priority for him.
One day, Shrirenu’s friend, Deepak, came to meet him, and he told him about a dating app named Aap Jaisa Koi. Now, the best feature of the app that worked in Shrirenu’s favor was that both parties could only talk to each other on call, and not only was their identity kept concealed, but also their pictures were not shown to each other. Shrirenu generally refrained from joining such dating platforms, but the fact that the girl wouldn’t be able to see his photograph and judge him gave him a little bit of courage. One thing about Shrirenu was that he was a very underconfident man, and he always felt that if anybody saw him, then surely they would reject him. Also, he felt that since he was 42 years old and wasn’t in a very high-paying job, no girl would really want to be with him. Shrirenu started talking to a girl on the app, and he just loved the attention he got from her. And then one day, out of nowhere, Kusum and Bhanu’s neighbor, Joy, came to them with a proposal. He told Kusum that he wanted Shrirenu to meet one of his relatives, Madhu Bose, who hailed from Kolkata. The moment Kusum told her brother-in-law about it, Shrirenu assumed that there would be something horribly wrong with the girl. The girl apparently had seen his photo and still had not rejected him, which was a big surprise for him. Still, Shrirenu went to meet Madhu, and in the first meeting itself, he was blown away by her beauty and personality.
Why did Shrirenu decide to call off his wedding?
Madhu Bose was probably the prettiest girl Shrirenu had ever seen in his life. She taught French, she was financially independent, she was good-looking, and more than anything, she was extremely humble and polite. She told Shrirenu that she’d received many offers for marriage, but she just never seemed to click with them. She said that she liked his name, and now that she had met him, she even liked him as a person. Shrirenu just couldn’t believe what was happening with him. It was like he was in a dream. How could anybody who looked like Madhu have ever fallen for him? Together with Deepak and one of his students, Rakesh, Shrirenu decided to do some background research on Madhu, as he felt that she could be hiding something from him. He just couldn’t accept the fact that he could be so fortunate and life could be so kind to him. Shrirenu got to know about a man named Namit with whom Madhu shared a past. He asked her about it, and she told him everything about the kind of relationship she had with him. She said that she dated Namit for a while, but his misogynist views and patriarchal mindset made her change her mind. He was one of those people who judged the character of a woman based on the sexual experiences she had had. Shrirenu was happy, and soon he proposed to Madhu and asked her to marry him.
The families met, the date was decided, and the celebrations began, but then one day, on the day of their engagement, there came a twist. While the couple was having a private conversation, Madhu spoke in a manner that made Shrirenu realize that she was the girl he had talked to on the dating app, Aap Jaisa Koi. It broke Shrirenu’s heart for some reason, and quite impulsively, he decided to call off his wedding. He judged her character because she was on that app and had had a conversation of a sexual nature with a stranger. In his mind, it was fine for a guy to be on that app and do such things, but it was proof of a woman’s lack of character if she did the same thing. Shrirenu confronted Madhu and told her the reason behind his calling off the wedding. Madhu was heartbroken, as she had believed him to be different from the guys she had been with. But he proved to be the same. Shrirenu felt that he was very “woke,” but in reality he was as misogynistic as his elder brother Bhanu. After a time, Shrirenu broke down, and he decided to apologize for his mistake and request Madhu to come back with him. But during that meeting, too, he said something that made Madhu realize that he hadn’t changed one bit. He told her that he would forgive her for her transgressions, and that triggered her. So basically what he meant was that she committed a huge blunder, and because he was such a big hearted person, he would let it go that one time. He very proudly said that he had allowed her to do whatever she wanted, but this time she had crossed her boundaries, and he wouldn’t allow it.
She asked him who gave him authority over her that he was allowing or not allowing her to do things. She realized the kind of mindset he had and how deep-rooted it was. Shrirenu said all those things in good faith, not realizing at all where the problem lay.
How did Shrirenu and Madhu end up together?
Bhanu, obviously being the alpha male that he was, got very angry when he heard about what had happened. It didn’t take him more than a second to completely assassinate Madhu’s character and question her ethics and morals. Shrirenu tried very hard to move on, but he just couldn’t do it. He pretended to be unaffected by whatever had happened, but deep down, he missed Madhu. But his toxic trait was that he felt that showing emotions was a sign of weakness. The two families had to meet, as there was some issue over the wedding venue, as the owner of the venue demanded to be paid in full. Bhanu and Shirenu left for Kolkata, and during that time, Kusum, Bhanu’s wife, was already in the city, as she had accompanied her daughter to her office offsite.
In a shocking twist, Bhanu saw Kusum in a taxi together with Joy. Kusum also saw Bhanu and her family, and she knew that she would have to face him and tell the truth. Imagine a patriarchal and extremely orthodox man seeing his wife on a date with another person. Bhanu was livid, and he told her that she needed to apologize for the shame she had brought to the family. He told her that he had a big heart and that he would forgive her if she apologized to him. Kusum told Bhanu that so long as she delivered his food and did all the household chores, he wouldn’t even notice if she existed or not. Kusum craved his attention, but I don’t think that Bhanu ever saw her as an individual. She told him that all her life, she had been searching for her own identity. She told him that she wanted to start her own business, as she knew that she was very good at making pickles. She said that Joy gave that attention to her, and he made her feel whole again. She told Bhanu that she didn’t hate him, but she wasn’t able to love him either. Kusum just wanted basic respect that was missing in their relationship since the beginning. She was just an asset for Bhanu, whose duty was to carry out her pre-specified gender role. And who decided those gender roles? Well, obviously, the males of the house. The entire confrontation happened in front of both families, and it somewhat made Shrirenu realize what he had done wrong to Madhu. He decided to stay back with Madhu’s family as her grandmother had met with a minor accident and lost consciousness.
During Aap Jaisa Koi’s ending, Shrirenu also told his sister-in-law that no matter what decision she made in her life, he would keep loving her like he always had. Shrirenu found the opportunity and told Madhu that he had been a fool, and he had no clue where he was going wrong. He said that he had been proud of the fact that he was nothing like his brother, but then Madhu made him realize that he was very subconsciously misogynistic, as those tendencies were so ingrained in him. He told Madhu that he understood her and that he would make an effort to understand her and give her the respect she deserves. He very truthfully told her that he wouldn’t change in a day, that he would make mistakes, but he assured her he would rectify them and grow as an individual. Madhu never distrusted his sincerity, and she loved him. She decided to give him another chance, and Shrirenu couldn’t be happier.
Though Aap Jaisa Koi had a happy ending, at least for Madhu, Shrirenu, Joy, and Kusum, I don’t think that things are that simple in real life. It isn’t easy to change somebody, because people are stubborn and rigid in their approach. Ideological perspectives are so deeply rooted that to expect that a man would change after 40 years is illogical actually. Also, in such situations, one does not understand where they are going wrong. They do not understand that a woman working in a kitchen all day long is also a human. And it shouldn’t be a Herculean task to just appreciate her effort. But what do we men do? We take her for granted. We believe that it is her duty to serve us food and to do all those things that she does out of love and respect. I don’t deny that people are changing, but the men of the subcontinent still have a long way to go before we reach a state where a woman can feel equally valued.
