Dudes, directed by Tobi Baumann and Jan Martin Scharf, follows the story of four men who embark on a journey to reinvent themselves, let go of their preconceived notions about masculinity, and attempt to adapt to changing times by shedding their old regressive patterns. So let’s find out what happened in the series and if the four friends were able to find their footing and save their respective relationships.
Spoiler Alert
Were Andi and Silke able to mend their relationship?
Andi and Cem were two men who I believed were quite in touch with their feminine side. Obviously on most occasions they got dominated by their two other friends, Erik and Ulf, and they didn’t really have a say in any matter. Andi, I believe, had started taking his wife for granted, and I don’t mean it in a bad way. This is something that generally happens in a marriage or when you have lived with a person for a prolonged period of time. It is but natural that you stop paying attention to your partner in the manner that you used to back in the day. Sometimes their absence makes you realize certain things, and at times things get so bad that there is no coming back. Silke wanted to revive her dormant sexual life. She was craving to have something to look forward to when it came to her relationship. Life had become mundane after having kids, and Silke was just not ready to accept it. Andi, to some extent, had made peace with it, which was why he didn’t feel a void like his partner did. Neither of them was in the wrong; it was just that their wants and desires weren’t aligned. Andi was falling terribly short of his partner’s expectations, and he didn’t know what Silke was going through for the longest time. Andi used to hang out with his friends on a regular basis, and like most men, they seldom had any meaningful conversations. Silke started going to the gym as she wanted to feel good about herself. The Cross Fit trainer at the gym, Niklas, seemed rather interested in her, and he asked her out on a date. Silke tried to keep her impulses under control, but she eventually gave in. Silke felt guilty from within for having an extramarital affair, but there was a part of her that felt really happy too. Niklas was not the man that she wanted to end up with, but she craved the attention that she got from him. Silke made the decision to take a break from Andi, and she went to Niklas’ place to stay. I believe that the space she got really helped her to get a better understanding of what she wanted. She came out of the fantasy world and saw how much Andi loved her. Andi too realized that he needed to put in the effort if he wanted Silke back in his life. They both did patch up at the end of the series, but the journey ahead is going to be a bit bumpy for them. Andi proposed that if she wanted, they could have an open relationship, and that’s where Silke lost her composure. Her insecurities took over, and she was just not ready to share her man, in whatever capacity, with anybody else.
Why did Cem lie to Vanessa?
Cem and his ex-wife Karla had separated from each other around 2 years back. Since then, Cem had lived alone, and he didn’t have any complaints about the life he had. When his daughter, Alina, came to live with him, she noticed that he was still not over Karla, as he still felt bad when she went out with another man. It had been 2 years since his divorce, and according to Alina, just sitting at home, doing work, and playing video games didn’t help his cause. So she made a Tinder account for her father, and asked him to start going on dates. Call it fate or just bad luck on Cem’s part that the first girl, Vanessa, he went on a date with was the one because of whom Ulf, Cem’s best friend, had lost his job. Cem didn’t know about it at first, and to his surprise, the date went quite well. He just couldn’t digest the fact that such a beautiful woman could fall for him, but Cem and Vanessa had a lot in common. They both loved playing video games, and Vanessa absolutely loved him for who he was. Since CM was a bit awkward on his first date, he said that his ex-wife had passed away a few years back. He didn’t know why he said it, but in the spur of the moment, that’s what came out from his mouth. Vanessa didn’t meet Cem after that first date, and the latter assumed the worst. In his mind, Cem thought that she didn’t like him, or maybe she got a better guy. But Vanessa was just piled up with work, and she had every intention of meeting him again. One time, Vanessa saw Cem with Ulf, and she lost her composure. Cem somehow handled the situation by telling her that he was not so close to Ulf and he was just one of those acquaintances who came with his friends. After a point in time, Cem was just not able to pretend, and he decided to break up with Vanessa because he felt that he was being unfair to her by not telling her the truth. For a brief period of time, Cem tried to get back with his ex-wife, but obviously things didn’t work out between them. At the end of the series, Cem and Vanessa reconciled, and the former told her that he had lied to her about his wife. But, once again, he wasn’t able to tell her that Ulf was his best friend. I believe Cem will land in trouble in the near future. I have a gut feeling that Vanessa will be able to find out about his friendship with Ulf by herself, and that is going to make her very disappointed in him.
Did Erik have an open relationship?
I am a firm believer in the fact that if you are not ready for something, especially when it comes to your relationships, you shouldn’t pretend to be cool about it. You should voice your concerns and say what affects you, even at the cost of not sounding progressive. Erik had decided to propose to his girlfriend, Kim. But before he could give her the ring that he had hidden in her tiramisu, she told him that she was thinking of having an open relationship. Erik was not fine with the idea of letting his partner get intimate with another man or woman. It made him uncomfortable and insecure. But he also knew that that was what she wanted, and he felt that, being a man, he should give her what she craved. Also, he didn’t allow himself the chance to be vulnerable in front of her, maybe because he feared that she would take it as a sign of weakness. That was the biggest mistake Erik committed, and he had a hard time dealing with everything that happened after that. But at the end, things started to get better between them. Kim got an offer to move too far, but she realized that Erik wouldn’t be happy if he moved there with her, so she declined that offer, and Erik realised how much she loved him. But when their relationship seemed to be coming back on track, Kim got to know that Erik had gotten intimate with an old flame of his, multiple times in the recent past. Now, Erik did that because when Kim went on a date, he felt insecure, and he wasn’t able to find a girl. When he went back to the girl he’d had a sexual relationship with, he didn’t tell Kim about it because he felt that he wasn’t obliged to do so. He didn’t want to hurt Kim, and he felt that it was better to just say that he had a date rather than accepting that he was unable to get anybody or he just didn’t want anybody else. Erik will have to make Kim understand why he did that, as she had felt betrayed, and moreover, she hadn’t expected that from him.
Will Ulf and Elif get back together?
Ulf was one of those people who needed to deconstruct his toxic masculine traits and reinvent himself in a lot of ways. He was fired from his position, and the management hired Vanessa (who, as stated earlier, started dating Cem later). Ulf was hoping that he would become the CEO of the company when he got that shocking news. Obviously, he wasn’t able to digest that fact, and it took him a few days to wrap his head around that fact. He tried applying for jobs, but he realized that it was pretty hard to get a call back from recruiters and get a new job. After his multiple arguments with Vanessa and the company’s management, he realized that he needed to show the world that he was working towards becoming a better man. He realized that attending a seminar, where men were taught how to get rid of their toxic side, would help his cause. Ulf convinced his friends to come with him too, but he had no intentions of actually changing his outlook. There came a point when Ulf lost his temper during the seminar, as he just felt that whatever the host talked about didn’t make any sense. He just couldn’t relate to the kind of man society wanted him to be. He lashed out during the seminar, and apparently a lot of attendees seemed to like his narrative. They unleashed the “Andrew Tate” within him, and that made him realize that he could make a career out of it. So the irony was striking; while he was attending a seminar that was meant to teach him how to confront and deconstruct his toxic masculinity, he instead found inspiration for the exact opposite. From that very seminar, he came up with the idea of building a male-centric community, one that outright rejected the feminist narrative and sought to restore what they saw as “lost” dominance. In their minds, this wasn’t just about forming a group; it was about reinstating faith in patriarchy, reviving traditional male authority, and resisting any effort to redefine masculinity in progressive terms.
The setting that was supposed to dismantle his prejudices ended up fueling them further, making the irony all the more bitter. The problem was that after he lost his job, Elif, his wife, had started creating content that was loved by all, and soon she became quite viral. People started asking Elif questions about her husband, raising concerns about the regressive content he was creating and how it could have a grave impact on the society. Elif was a really understanding woman; she knew that her husband believed in a distorted notion of masculinity, but deep down he was a good man. She knew that his ideology was toxic, but she never demeaned him but tried to make him understand her point of view. She, in fact, even asked Ulf to work as her manager, but his ego was too big for him to work under a woman. In fact, he didn’t even want to use her credit card, as it lowered his prestige and self-worth. At the end, Elif just got sick and turned on him. He came to her one day and told her that they should have a baby. In reality he just didn’t want her to work and earn more than him. According to him, it was a man’s job to handle the finances of the house, and a woman was just worthy of looking after kids and cooking food. All hell broke loose when in a public gathering he called Elif’s work inconsequential. Elif decided to take a break from him and go and live at her parents’ house for a few days. Elif’s ultimatum served as a wake-up call for Ulf. At the end of the series, he decided to actually start working on himself, shed off all the toxicity, and try to understand the others’ perspective. I believe that he would have to put in the work, but Elif will come back to him because she loves him more than anything else in the world. As stated earlier, she knew that he was a good husband and father. That said, Ulf will have to prove himself, as otherwise it would be difficult for him to win her trust.It would be interesting to see if he is able to change his outlook or if he lets his toxic side overpower him.
