Netflix’s Filipino drama film I Wish You Had Told Me is a son’s quest to find out who his father really was. It was only after his father’s death that Seph discovered that he was completely oblivious about a side of his father. During his wake, a woman named Cecil walked into the room and claimed that Otep was a homosexual man. Seph assumed she was confused and mistook his father for someone else. But he soon figured out he couldn’t have been more wrong. The local pastor had decided to not bless his father’s body because he hadn’t been a good Christian. Seph worked for the church and had been appointed to travel to Portugal for an evangelical mission. But lately, he started to think about the nuances of religious teachings. His father had always been a believer, and he often quoted verses from the Bible, and Seph couldn’t come to terms with the fact that just because he was a homosexual man, the church had decided to humiliate him even after his death.
Spoiler Alert
Who was Rum?
Cecil was perhaps the only one in the neighborhood who didn’t judge Otep. When they were young, they used to go to the disco together, and she was well aware that Otep was attracted to men. So when Seph discovered a suitcase full of letters and other trinkets, Cecil was the only person he believed would know about his father’s secret. Otep had buried the suitcase, and it was after his death that Seph discovered it unexpectedly. He went through the letters; they were all addressed to Otep’s pen pal, Rum, who lived in Spain and owned an olive farm. The letters suggested that they had developed romantic affection for one another. Cecil often reminded him that waiting for someone who lived in Spain was foolish, but Otep was deeply committed to Rum. Otep had saved up to meet the love of his life, but then his father had found the letters, and he was hellbent on ‘fixing’ his son. He was abused and tortured, and ultimately it became very clear to him that if he wanted to live a peaceful life, he had to hide his true self. He had pretended to be a heterosexual man, but he assumed it was easier than living a lonely life, and that was why he chose to marry Seph’s mother. Seph felt a deep connection with his father when he unearthed the letters and started to know him better every passing day. He could see his father at times, and he communicated with him through texts. Now this can be interpreted as something Seph imagined, or one can also assume that maybe his father’s soul was truly with his son, and he waited for his son to do one last thing for him that would allow his soul to leave the mortal world. Cecil had handed Seph the last letter that Otep had written for Rum. He had asked Cecil to hold on to it because he was afraid that Rum would stop sending him letters if he found out the truth. He feared that Rum didn’t love him the way he did. Although it was cancer that had resulted in Otep’s death, Cecil believed that the aching pain of never meeting the love of his life had killed him.
What did Seph discover after his interaction with Rum?
Seph decided to find Rum. He was sent for work to Portugal, and he thought it was the perfect opportunity for him to travel to Spain and track down his father’s lover. The letters had his address, and Seph hoped that Rum still lived there. The only problem was that Seph was accompanied by Marlon, who also worked for the church. He refused to let Seph leave alone for Spain and decided to accompany him. Seph didn’t tell him the actual reason behind his visit. Seph arrived at the address on the letter the very night he’d reached Spain. But unfortunately, there seemed to be no one there. Seph was disheartened, but he didn’t give up. He walked around the neighborhood and went to every spot that Rum had mentioned in his letters. While his father never managed to make it, Seph believed that he was living these moments on behalf of Otep. In one of the letters Otep had sent Rum, he’d mentioned sending the seeds of Medinilla magnifica. Seph assumed that if he could find the flower in the neighbor, then maybe he’ll also find Rum. It wasn’t a foolproof plan, but that was the only option Seph had left. Surprisingly, it worked; as soon as Seph found the flower, he ran into Rum. He was a grumpy old man who refused to entertain Seph. When Seph mentioned that he was Otep’s son and his father had died of cancer, Rum collapsed on the ground. Seph helped him have his medicine and waited until he regained consciousness. Rum wasn’t pleased to see Seph again. He refused to hear him and sent him away. But Seph was persistent, and he repeatedly showed up at Rum’s house. One day, Rum finally decided to hear out the young man. He was on his way to his olive farm, and he showed Seph around. This was the olive farm that Rum had mentioned in his letters and that Otep had fallen in love with even though he never had the opportunity to see the beauty with his own eyes. Rum took a liking to Seph after interacting with him, and he was a little disappointed when he discovered that he planned on heading to the Philippines the very next day. He was also taken aback when he learned that Seph worked for the church, because deep down he believed that it was the church that took away Otep. Otep grew up in a religious household, and Rum thought religion kept him in shackles. Seph tried to hand Rum the last letter his father had written to him, but Rum refused to accept it. He knew he would experience immense agony if he read the letter. Rum expressed how devastated he was when he’d discovered that Otep had married and had a family. When he had started exchanging letters with Otep, he thought he wouldn’t have to spend his life alone, but unfortunately life didn’t turn out the way he’d imagined. Rum eventually realized that perhaps Otep got married because he was too afraid of being alone. Rum thanked Seph for being a perfect son to his father, and he believed Otep surely was proud of him, and perhaps every challenge Otep faced seemed a little less difficult because he had Seph by his side always. Later, Seph had a vision in which his father told him that he never regretted having him and Seph gave him a purpose in life. Seph realized that although his father didn’t get to live the life he’d envisioned for himself, he also didn’t completely regret having a family of his own.
Did Rum accept the letter?
Seph initially regretted not spending enough time with his father. He believed that if he did, then maybe Otep would’ve told him the truth, and he would’ve died in peace knowing that his son accepted him for who he was. But he eventually realized that it didn’t really matter. His father loved him unconditionally, and so did he, and it was something they both just knew. Rum had mentioned a waterfall in his letters, and he’d hoped some day he would bring Otep there. While that dream remained unfulfilled, he was glad that at least he could spend some time with Seph remembering Otep and everything he meant to them. This time when Seph insisted he accept the letter, he finally did. Rum realized that either way he would feel the pain of losing the love of his life, and he might as well cherish Otep’s last words to him. As Rum read the letter, he imagined Otep walking up to him in the olive farm, and they finally embraced each other. The reality was tragic, so Rum sought comfort in his imagination because he deeply believed that even though they hadn’t met, their souls were forever tied together.
What does the future have in store for Seph?
In I Wish You Had Told Me’s ending, Seph was ready to leave for Manila when he received a call from a representative of the congregation. Since he failed to show up at his job in Portugal and instead ran away to Spain and spent the money that the church had assigned for his personal use, he had to face repercussions. He was also told that upon his arrival he would be transferred. While listening to the man, Seph saw a vacancy notice lying on the bench. He figured it must be a divine signal; perhaps he was meant to live in Spain and build a life away from the church and its regressive beliefs. Both Seph and his father were devoted Christians, and they had come to realize at different points in their lives that they were allowed to have their own interpretation of the Bible (which might contradict the teachings of the church). Meanwhile, Marlon too had started to question the teachings of the church since the pastor was a vile man who’d raped his sister and refused to take any responsibility after she got pregnant. Cecil, who had always been outspoken about the church’s wrongful practices, didn’t hesitate to raise her voice against the pastor. The people of the community sided with her because they were all somewhat aware of his secrets. The pastor was beaten up by the people of the community, and hopefully he was either terminated or forced to resign after his misconduct. Marlon would likely distance himself from the church, though it wouldn’t be an easy decision since he and his family were dependent on the church for their livelihood. Seph too was in a similar situation, but clearly he was more ready to even work as a waiter in Spain than go back to his hometown in Manila and work for the church. Maybe this will result in a distance between him and his mother since she never could accept the truth. Or perhaps it will take her some time to understand the reason behind Seph’s decision, and hopefully they will be reunited soon. Ultimately, Seph chose to live a free life away from the shackles of the church, something that his father had always dreamt of.
