Walter Salles’ Oscar-winning film I’m Still Here is a powerful and poignant retelling of the forced disappearance of Rubens Paiva, a civil engineer and former congressman, during the military dictatorship in Brazil. Salles allows us to spend over thirty minutes getting to know the Paiva family up close. Rubens and Eunice had settled with their five children (four daughters and one son) in Leblon, Rio de Janeiro, and their house was filled with joy and laughter. Rubens’ tenure as a congressman was revoked following the 1964 Brazilian coup d’état, and he and his family had to spend a few years abroad before moving back to Brazil again. Even though the military presence and constant news of abductions and killings bothered them, they tried to hold onto their happiness by celebrating every little win in life. The film is as much about loss and pain as it is about resilience and courage. It reminds the world of the atrocities thousands of people were subjected to during the Brazilian dictatorship and its devastating impact on the families, who never really overcame the trauma.
Spoiler Alert
Why was Eunice detained?
One day, all of a sudden, three men forcefully entered Rubens’ house and demanded he come along with them to give a deposition. Eunice had no idea what was going on, but Rubens remained calm and followed the instructions of the strangers. He got dressed and promised Eunice that he would return home by the end of the day. Rubens kissed her goodbye, and thus began Eunice’s wait for her husband to return home. The three army men stayed back to keep an eye on the Paiva family. The kids were clueless about what was going on, and Eunice tried to keep the truth from them as long as she could.
The next morning, Eunice and her daughter, Eliana, were called in for questioning. On the way, they were handed hoods to cover their faces so that the location remained a secret to them. It suggested that whatever the state had planned was unlawful, unethical, and would violate their human rights. Eunice was taken to an interrogation room where she was shown photographs of anti-military activists. She demanded to contact her lawyer, but they refused to let her do so. They lied to her, stating that Rubens had already confessed the truth, and all Eunice had to do was confirm his statement. According to the military, Rubens had planned a revolution during his time abroad. Eunice had no clue about Rubens’ involvement in politics, and she was confident that he had nothing to do with those the military had labeled ‘terrorists.’ According to their intel, Rubens worked closely with Martha, their daughter’s teacher, and she delivered letters to him. Apparently, Rubens delivered those letters to ‘terrorists,’ and the military was curious to find out how he operated. Eunice continued to vouch for her husband’s innocence, and she was locked in prison for five days straight and brought in for questioning again. The cycle continued for days, until one day Eunice was released all of a sudden.
As soon as she returned home, she scrubbed her body with all her might, desperate to rid herself of the haunting memories. When she woke up the next morning, she found Eliana lying by her side. She told her mother how she’d wanted to wait, but they didn’t allow her to. She added that, according to the papers, Rubens had fled the country, but Lino, their family friend, thought it was all lies. After everything she’d been through, Eliana desperately wanted to know the truth, but Eunice didn’t want her children’s future to be affected, and she strictly instructed Eliana to go to school while she spoke to Lino.
Why did Eunice decide to move to São Paulo?
Eunice was advised by her friends to discuss Ruben’s forced disappearance with the media. While the news was hushed up in Brazil, the rest of the world was watching, and they were willing to report on the situation. They needed concrete proof of his arrest, and only then would the media agree to report. Eunice reached out to Martha and asked her to provide a statement confirming that she was in the same car with Rubens when they were arrested. But Martha was traumatized, and she didn’t have the strength to revisit those dark days again. Eunice eventually discovered that her husband, along with his friends who shared the same ideals, had tried to find ways to help those resisting the military dictatorship, but they’d strictly stayed away from the armed struggle. Rubens chose to keep it a secret from Eunice because he didn’t want his family to worry about something they didn’t have control over. Eunice gathered whatever little information she could find on Rubens, but it was not enough to prove his arrest. One day, unexpectedly, Martha dropped an envelope at Eunice’s place. She’d written a letter confessing that Rubens was with her when she was forcefully taken by the military. Eunice finally had proof of her husband’s disappearance.
Eunice was hopeful that someday Rubens would return and they would once again have soufflés together, but her dream remained unfulfilled. She was told by a journalist that Rubens had been killed in confinement, but there was no evidence to prove it. Eunice wanted to take legal action, but she was told it would be futile. She kept the truth from her children; she didn’t know how to tell them that their father was no more. She knew they would figure it out one day, but until then, she didn’t wish to snatch away the little glimmer of hope they still had. Eunice didn’t have the time to mourn her husband’s death; she had too many responsibilities, and she was determined to provide her children with a good life. She decided to sell the land where Rubens had planned to build a house. She also made up her mind to rent out her house and move to São Paulo, where her father and mother lived. It made sense that Eunice wanted to take her children away from the place that destroyed them and build their life anew.
Did the death certificate bring closure to the Piava family?
Leaving their Leblon house was not easy for the Piava family, but it was a necessary step. But before they moved out, international media covered the story of Rubens’ forced disappearance. A photograph of the Piava family was taken, with Rubens missing from the frame. Eunice discussed with the journalist how the government had failed them and that her lawyer had asked to reopen the inquiry file of her husband. She added how the media had been turned into mere puppets in the hands of the state, which reported false news and covered up unlawful acts. The family eventually settled in São Paulo. And twenty-five years later, after Brazil became a democratic state again, Eunice received the call she had been waiting for. After her husband’s death, she’d gone back to college and pursued a degree in law. She specialized in human rights law and focused on helping indigenous communities fight their cases in court.
During I’m Still Here’s ending, Eunice, her son Marcelo, and her youngest daughter, Babiu, were handed the death certificate of Rubens. The government was trying to give some closure to the families of the deceased who were tortured and killed during the military dictatorship. Later that night, the siblings discussed the time when they realized that their father would never return. For Babiu, it was when they left their old house in Leblon. She felt she was bidding adieu to her father when they emptied the house out. The place he would’ve returned to, his home, ceased to exist. For Marcelo, it was some years later—when they moved to São Paulo, and he saw his mother give away his father’s clothes. Even though they had accepted the reality a long time back, the death certificate was the closure they needed. There were still missing pieces since his body was never found, but at least there was a finality in his life story, and that was all that they were after. Eunice safely tucked away the certificate along with every piece of paperwork associated with Ruben’s disappearance. She looked back fondly at old family videos from when Rubens was around. The pain she experienced was unfathomable, and the memories were all that she had left of her beloved.
What does the final scene suggest?
During the ending of I’m Still Here, we learn that Eunice had suffered from Alzheimer’s for fifteen years. Her precious memories had faded away, and she had become indifferent to her surroundings. Her children looked after her, and her family had significantly expanded with her grandchildren seated along with her at the dinner table. She played her part to the best of her abilities, and the fact that her children didn’t drift apart goes to show that she’d done a fine job as a single mother.
In I’m Still Here’s ending, Eunice stared at the television screen when a reporter stated that, after twenty-one years of the military regime, The Commission heard the testimonies of twelve hundred witnesses. The systematic torture and murder during the military dictatorship was documented. When the reporter mentioned Rubens’ name among those who had disappeared during the regime, Eunice couldn’t hold back her tears. While she didn’t remember most of her life, she did recognize Rubens when she saw his photograph on screen. A sudden wave of sadness engulfed her, and perhaps for a brief minute, her entire life flashed before her eyes. In the final shot, Eunice and her family smiled and posed for the camera. Eunice had always been clear about one thing—she would not allow the world to assume that they were weak, and even in the face of adversity, she and her children had smiled for the camera. She had been the pillar of the family, and it was her resilience that allowed them to see better days.
