Kyle Hausmann-Stokes’ 2024 drama comedy, My Dead Friend Zoe is a heartfelt film about two women who served in the army together. The film makes us privy to how difficult it is to battle one’s internal demons, accept the changes in life that come after serving in the army, and most of all, find something to look forward to in life in order to survive and thrive. So, without further ado, let’s explore the events of My Dead Friend Zoe and take a look at the true story that inspired its narrative.
Spoiler Alert
Is the film based on a true story?
It can be said that My Dead Friend Zoe is inspired by real-life events that Kyle Hausmann-Stokes experienced when he served in the US army. He dedicated the film to two of his colleagues, Luis Ramirez-Jimenez and Boris Ventura, who served in the army with him. Both Ventura and Jimenez took their own lives, unable to cope with their battles with PTSD. Hausmann-Stokes felt that there was a need to bring about a change in the policies and look after the veterans in a better manner. He himself dealt with PTSD, and he knew what it could do to a person. Hausmann-Stokes knew that, at times, these veterans felt extremely lonely, and they didn’t have anybody to look forward to or talk to in their lives. Yes, there were people who could move ahead and let go of their past, but some needed genuine help that they were too ashamed to ask for and the state had a responsibility to look after them. While speaking to an online portal, Hausmann expressed his happiness about things gradually changing for the better in the near future. The rate of suicide among the veterans has drastically reduced in the past few years, and Hausmann gave credit to the government for bringing about a change in policies and providing help and support to those who served their country.
Why didn’t Merit speak during the support group meetings?
Merit lived a rather secluded life after she came back from Afghanistan. She served in the army as a lightweight vehicle mechanic, and she had never imagined during her stay in Afghanistan that her life would take such a drastic turn. However, unlike her peers, Merit’s issue was nothing to do with what she saw or did on the battlefield; what she did after she completed her service was come back to the United States of America and get admitted to a university. Merit didn’t like talking about her past, and she certainly believed that leaving her issues unresolved and not addressing them could help her cause. Obviously, she was wrong, and after an incident where she lost her calm, the court found her guilty of willful negligence and ordered her to join a support group. Merit never shared her story in the support group, and Dr. Cole, the person in charge of the support group, made it very clear to her that he wouldn’t lie in court about it. Merit tried to speak, to share a couple of times, but the presence of Zoe, her best friend from the army, just didn’t let her. Now, here’s what the problem was: Zoe had died a few years back, but Merit still saw her, and the former followed her like a shadow wherever she went. For some reason, Zoe didn’t want Merit to tell her story. Zoe didn’t want Merit to find closure. But Merit didn’t understand that it wasn’t Zoe, but her own mind playing tricks on her and not allowing her to get closure. Not talking about her scars was not helping Merit’s cause, and to make things worse, her mother gave her a call and asked her to look after her grandfather, Lieutenant Colonel Dale, as his Alzheimer’s was getting worse with every passing day. Merit had no clue how to deal with herself, and she was in no position, mentally, to take any sort of responsibility for another person. But it was her grandfather at the end of the day, and she couldn’t escape from her responsibilities.
Did Merit send her grandfather to the retirement home?
After a couple of incidents, where Dale was found roaming on someone else’s property, having no clue about his whereabouts, Merit decided to move in with him for the time being until her mother made arrangements for him to stay in an old age home. Dale had no clue that the mother-daughter duo had something like that in mind. Dale had served two tours in Vietnam, and he had his own internal battles to deal with. He was a stubborn man who didn’t like being told what to do. He knew his health was deteriorating, but the idea of moving into a retirement home was not something he ever entertained. During her stay at Molalla, the small town where Dale lived, Merit got a chance to reminisce about the good old days she spent here. Merit often thought about those days, when life was hassle-free, and the world felt like a good place to live in. She remembered how her grandfather took her sailing and how she accompanied him to the 4th of July celebrations every year. Merit also went and talked to the Shady Acres retirement home staff, and she struck a chord with Alex, whose family owned the place.
Alex was quite attached to his late grandparents, which was why he weeded the whole graveyard to clean the place for them. While she was staying at the house, Alex asked Merit out for a drink, but she was not sure if she should go or not. Merit didn’t know how Zoe, a figment of her imagination, would react to her meeting another guy. The Zoe that Merit’s mind had created was happiest when Merit didn’t share her trauma, when she secluded herself and didn’t let anybody else enter her life. It was basically Merit’s mind not allowing her to do anything that would set her on the path of recovery. Merit still got to the date, but while having a conversation with Alex, she started seeing Zoe once again. Merit just got up and left quite abruptly, not understanding what she should do next.
Alex met Merit once again during the 4th of July celebrations, and while introducing himself to Dale, he told Dale about their family-owned retirement home. It wasn’t difficult for Dale to connect the dots, and he felt that his granddaughter had betrayed his trust. Merit’s mother came to Dale’s house, and Dale did not like how he was forced to shift into a retirement home. Merit’s mother was just about to fill out the documents when Merit had a realization. She decided to stay back in Molalla and be with her grandfather for the rest of the old man’s time in this world. She decided that she would do odd jobs, help her grandfather, be with Alex, and surround herself with positivity. She knew that this was what she wanted for herself. She told Alex and her grandfather about it, and both of them couldn’t be happier. But there was one more thing that Merit had to do before she moved ahead with her life. She needed to let go of Zoe, i.e., she needed to get over the past, heal her trauma, accept her reality, and move ahead gracefully with life.
Why Did Merit Blame Herself For Zoe’s Death?
The imaginary Zoe broke down when she heard about Merit’s decision to share her trauma with others, and she requested that she keep clinging to the past and not talk about it with anybody. But Merit had made up her mind, and that’s when we got to know what exactly happened with Zoe and why Merit blamed herself for her death. So, Zoe didn’t have anything to look forward to in her life after her army days came to an end. She knew that once she was back from Afghanistan, she would wallow in her own misery, and she didn’t want that to happen. She knew that Merit had a happy family, that she would have people around her once they moved back home, and that they wouldn’t be able to meet on an everyday basis.
Zoe wasn’t good at accepting change. She wanted to be around Merit all the time, which she knew wouldn’t be possible in the outside world. Merit didn’t want Zoe to reenlist in the army and after a heated confrontation, Zoe lost her calm and attempted to get shot on purpose. It was Merit who assured her that things would not change between them. Zoe had her doubts, but she chose to trust Merit. Once the girls were back in the US, Merit got busy with her life, and Zoe felt as if she was left behind, living a lonely life and doing an uninteresting job that didn’t give her any sense of purpose. Zoe didn’t have anything to look forward to, and all she wanted was for Merit to call. On her birthday, when Merit ignored her calls, Zoe lost her patience, and she realized that there was no point in such an existence.
In My Dead Friend Zoe’s ending, Zoe took her own life, and when Merit found out about it, she felt extremely guilty. For years, Merit wasn’t able to process everything and deal with her trauma. But once she did, the fragment of Zoe vanished from her life, and though Merit missed her at times, she knew it was the best thing she could do for herself. She knew that the real Zoe would not try to stop her from sharing her trauma and getting help, and that’s what Merit did next. After mending her relationship with her veteran grandfather, Merit attended the group therapy session, and this time, she decided to talk in front of everyone and finally let go of her concealed trauma.
