At the risk of sounding repetitive, I think this was one of the most fun Palm Royale episodes from season 2. I suppose I’m going to be saying this even more often, because the kookier the show gets, the better it hits. Episode 5 sees both Robert and Maxine having to deal with ex-lovers in different ways, but will Maxine ever get what she wants and deserves? It’s like nothing ever seems to go right for this girl. Meanwhile, a certain someone who is off to Cuba has found a whole new purpose for herself there. An enterprising woman can find something to do anywhere, no? Anyway, with that said, let’s jump straight into the events that went down in episode 5.
Spoiler Alert
Where Is Linda Now?
The episode opens with Mary receiving a package she uses to reach out to the spirit world. Turns out, though, it’s just a ham radio, and she ends up picking up a message Linda’s been sending out. Since Douglas dropped Linda off in Cuba, she’s apparently been on one hell of an adventure, and her new sidekick and lover is Che Guevara’s unbelievably attractive half-brother, Choi Guevara. She’s been touring the world engaged in humanitarian work, and for her latest project, which involves teaching the children of the Sierra Madre how to read, she needs Maxine to send her $100,000. Although Mary’s massively disappointed by the fact that she wasn’t actually communicating with the spirit world, she goes ahead and passes the message on to Maxine anyway. Apparently, she’s going to be met with a courier who will use the code phrase “banana slug,” and that’s the man she’s supposed to hand the cash over to.
At this time, Maxine’s out to the movies with Dr. Dusty Magic, gynecologist-lawyer extraordinaire, and it feels like they’ve got chemistry. Except when he leans in to kiss Maxine, she recoils physically and tells him she’s got popcorn in her teeth. Ultimately, she tells him that she does really like him, but she can’t kiss him before the third date at least. This is when Mary pops in with Linda’s message, and it does look like she’s inclined to help her. The only trouble is, of course, that the Rollins estate currently has all its assets frozen, meaning neither Evelyn nor Maxine (as the estate conservator) can touch any of the money. This is a two-fold problem, because that means neither can Maxine afford to fund Linda’s literacy program, nor can Evelyn and Maxine execute the sale of the Palm Royale, for which they’ll need a whopping $3 million.
Maxine ends up begging Robert to write her a check for the $100,000, but since he was only left the Dellacorte estate by Agnes, who wasn’t the real Norma, he tells Maxine to ask Doug for the money instead. Of course, she can’t do that, because he’s been kidnapped and she doesn’t know where he is right now. Ultimately, Maxine and Evelyn end up getting their hands on the Rollins’ gold reserves, a whole $6 million worth of it, but Sidonious ends up telling them he can’t accept it. Turns out there was a whole mess with Nazi gold in Palm Beach a few years back, and it got so big that the US is on the verge of taking the dollar off the gold standard. When she and Evelyn decide to sneak into the Rollins estate through the tunnels and sell some trinkets, they’re horrified to find the entire place has been ransacked by the feds, and the receipt they find even shows that they only valued everything at a combined value of $5000, which is very nearly the worst part of it all to Evelyn.
Who Kidnapped Douglas?
Meanwhile, Mitzi’s in a fix, with Doug still missing. She finds Dinah on the phone with Richard Nixon, giggling away and flirting outrageously. Oh, and Perry’s there too. When she tells her and Perry about Doug, they take her to Pinky and Raquel’s place, but Dinah’s the one who goes in to talk to them. While she’s in there, she hears some very questionable thudding and screaming, and we see Doug tied to a chair and gagged, trying desperately to escape. When one of Raquel’s large minions walks up to her and complains about how he’s too clever and chewed through his ropes, trying to escape, Raquel tells him to throw him 2 days’ food and lock the door, because they’ll kill the pig in 2 days anyway. Dinah tries to hide the fact that she can speak a little Spanish and scrambles off back to the car, horrified.
She breaks the news to the other two, and Mitzi is immediately insistent that they go to the cops or the FBI, but Perry puts his foot down for once. He still offers her a creepy hug (for the second time this episode), but more importantly, he has a plan. Madge Post’s square dance that evening is an event Pinky and Raquel will be attending; everyone who’s anyone will be coming. That’ll give them a chance to distract them at the dance while one of them sneaks back to Pinky’s place and frees Doug. Simultaneously, Dusty shows up to take Maxine on a second date to this very dance, but when she tells him about all her trouble with the gold, he tells her that Madge Post is the one person who’ll buy the gold off her. Looks like she’s going on a second date after all.
Everyone gets to the party, and it’s a massive affair. When Evelyn and Maxine go downstairs to Madge Post’s vault, they see an unimaginable collection of treasures, including 11 out of the 12 surviving Romanov Faberge eggs. But more bafflingly, Evelyn sees that all her stuff from her mansion is down here, and we find out that Madge Post has a deal with the Feds, who sell her stuff from their raids for cheap, allowing her to auction it off for big bucks. It’s not clear what they get out of this arrangement, but her connection with the FBI might come into play down the line. In the meanwhile, because she can see how desperate they are for the cash, she offers them a mere 50 cents on the dollar for all their gold, meaning the girls walk out of there with a mere $3.4 million, but Maxine can still pay Linda after they’ve bought the Palm Royale.
Also, when the Donahues and Mitzi notice that Pinky and Raquel are busy, Perry rushes off to their estate to free Doug, while Mitzi goes straight to the FBI. This leaves Dinah in a tricky position, though, because as the Democratic candidate for mayor of Palm Beach (though Nixon only told Dinah to make him run so the Republicans would win), Perry’s going to be expected to give a speech at the dance. When the time finally comes, she steps up to the stage, and we’re treated to a bit of a satirical skit, as she says her husband supports things like women’s rights, clean water, the environment, empathy, and any number of other positive things the rich, Republican crowd can’t stand to hear. On the other hand, when Perry gets to the shed he thinks Doug’s being held in, he’s freaked out when he realizes it was a literal pig Raquel was talking about slaughtering. Turns out, Doug was being held by the FBI all along.
Is Maxine Finally Free Of Douglas?
Mitzi goes to the feds, but everyone’s out of the building on a stag party except for Robert’s beau, Tom, who’s secretly there on a late-night date with Robert. After Robert overhears her talking about Doug’s kidnapping, he runs off to tell Maxine, who walks up to Pinky and Raquel and tells them they can have the Dellacorte mansion. Except when she tells them that now they have to give her Douglas, they laugh in her face at the idea that they kidnapped him. On top of this fiasco, Evelyn overhears her and Dusty talking about a commitment and realizes it’s Maxine’s fault her assets were seized, because they’re talking about Linda. She tells her in a huff that she will now become the sole proprietor of the Palm Royale, and Maxine will never be allowed back again. Their sisterhood is ruined, all thanks to Doug.
It’s never simple with Maxine, is it? At the very least, she discovers that Linda’s secret courier was none other than Dusty all along. After he gives her the code word, he kisses her on the neck (because he’s respectful of her wishes), and she tells him to meet her by the pool back home. It’s been a crap day, and she needs this, so she goes home and starts dressing herself up in her best night fit, determined to put Doug behind her. But imagine her surprise when she answers the door and sees him waiting there for her. Apparently, the FBI finally decided to let him go; it’s Pinky they really want, since it was his plane Linda escaped on and Doug claims he didn’t break under pressure. This means Pinky will get arrested, and that would mean they can take the Dellacorte back? Who knows?
In the ending of Palm Royale episode 5 of season 2, Dusty walks in on Maxine on top of Douglas, wearing the outfit she’d prepared for him, not knowing she fell on him while trying to push him out of the house. Dusty’s heartbroken, and he simply says goodbye to Maxine before leaving. Maxine’s not the only one to end the episode with her love life in a weird place, though. As Robert’s leaving the motel room that he and Tom just had some fun in, he sees a chiseled Greek god of a man by the pool, and it’s none other than the “Prince of Luxembourg” himself, Reginald. This is the very man Tom arrested last season, breaking Robert’s heart. How is he going to respond to this reintroduction? We’ll have to wait till next week to find out. It’s also interesting to see that Evelyn thought her boytoy would leave her because she’s been a disappointment in terms of money, but the thing with being with a working-class man is that he won’t leave you if you become broke. It’s a sweet moment, and it finally looks like Evelyn is genuinely happy with where she is despite the mishap.
