It’s actually wild that, even in the year 2025, we still haven’t fixed the issue of toxic masculinity. Instead, young men are being indoctrinated to be misogynistic and uphold patriarchal norms because feminism has apparently trampled men’s rights to be, well, manly. The most prominent front where this exercise to “reclaim” the status quo, where men can be allowed to be sexist without any consequences, is being carried out in the comments sections of social media and through podcasts. And in some extreme cases, it’s leading to real-life violence and death. Is that sparking any kind of introspection in the people that belong to that gender? Or are men doubling down on their pursuit to “go back to the old ways,” whatever that means? Well, if we see this situation through the lens of entertainment, one of the most popular shows of this year is Adolescence, which is a damning critique of the influence of people like Andrew Tate on impressionable minds. Then there’s Secrets We Keep, which highlights the role of classism and racism when it comes to sexual assault. And then we have Real Men, which is just confused about what it wants to say.
Real Men, directed by Letizia Lamartire and Matteo Oleotto and written by Furio Andreotti, Giulia Calenda, and Ugo Ripamonti, tells the story of four friends: Luigi, Mattia, Riccardo, and Massimo. Luigi is a bus driver. He is married to Tiziana, who is a driving instructor, and they have two kids, Francesco and Sara. But since they are so busy all the time, their sex life is as good as dead. Mattia is a tour guide who is going through a divorce with his wife, Federica, an experimental photographer, and they have a daughter named Emma. Since Mattia is still in love with Federica, Emma forces her dad to date at least ten women to get over her mother. Riccardo is the co-owner of a bistro and is in a relationship with Ilenia, who is a lawyer, but he is cheating on her with Valentina, the wife of Carlo, i.e., the other co-owner of the bistro. Massimo is the program director of a TV channel who ends up being fired for his misogynistic and discriminatory behavior, which forces him to depend on his partner Daniela’s job as a content creator to have a somewhat sustainable lifestyle. When all these men hit a low point in their respective journeys, they realize that maybe they need to unlearn their ideas of masculinity to have better lives. And that endeavor goes “swimmingly.”
Credit where credit is due, Real Men does want to address all the trials and tribulations that men in their 40s are facing. It’s a particularly tricky time, undoubtedly. If they lose their jobs, they can’t start anew or have that kind of savings to spend the rest of their life without seeking employment. If they fall out of love, it’s difficult to find a life partner again. It’s tough to completely overhaul one’s belief system at that stage, largely because it feels like an uphill task. And the show seemingly wants this generation of men to opt for self-reflection instead of thinking that women and feminism are the root of all their problems. But then the writers kind of shoot themselves in the foot by centering the entire narrative around adultery. Just to be clear, I’m sure infidelity is a major issue, not just in Italy but also all over the world, especially amongst people in their 40s. What I actually find concerning is how the showrunners disproportionately portray the consequences of such actions. I mean, if you are punishing the male character for cheating on his partner, why are you giving the female characters a pass for doing the same? What’s the message that’s being sent by doing so?
In a lot of modern shows and movies, women cheating on their husbands is being portrayed as some kind of emancipatory power move. It’s like a way of getting back at all the men that have cheated on their wives since the dawn of time. But two wrongs don’t make a right. Cheating is bad, period. It doesn’t matter if you’re doing it as a form of rebellion or petty revenge; it’s not right. Anybody who cheats, regardless of sex, age, or gender, shouldn’t be forgiven. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Real Men understands that when it comes to men. However, when it comes to women, the show is oddly lenient towards them, and that, for me, absolutely ruins any goodwill that it has gained by talking about misogyny, sexism, homophobia, and the rise of chauvinistic influencers. There are other issues as well, from a technical standpoint, with the biggest one being its pacing. It looks alright, but eventually the shot choices and edits become repetitive. And then there’s that freeze frame at the end of the final episode. What the hell is that? No, really, what the hell is that? Who concludes a show, where half of the characters haven’t made any real progress, with a triumphant freeze frame? That’s just embarrassing.
The performances in Real Men are good. Maurizio Lastrico, Matteo Martari, Francesco Montanari, and Pietro Sermonti have such excellent chemistry that there are several moments in the show where it feels like they are not even reading lines off the script; they are just riffing off of each other. They are great in their solo scenes as well. The rest of the supporting cast is quite competent. The casting director has done a solid job of bringing together a talented bunch of actors. So, bravo to all of them. I wish I could say the same about the rest of the show. Just to be clear, Real Men is watchable as long as it’s critiquing patriarchal norms by poking fun at all the immature stuff that men do. As soon as it switches gears and starts forgiving women for being unfaithful, that’s when it gets bad. I’m sure there’s an audience for that kind of narrative, but this is not my cup of tea. If that sounds like a recommendation, please, feel free to give this show a watch. If not, just go and check out Adolescence and Secrets We Keep if you haven’t already.
