Eva Victor’s debut feature film, Sorry, Baby, is a humorous, heartfelt take on processing trauma. The deadpan humor stems from the absurdity of life, and our protagonist, Agnes, is someone who doesn’t mind laughing at her own misery. It’s her way of lightening her mood or taking a quick break from her brooding thoughts. The film begins with Agnes and her best friend, Lydie’s brief reunion. They’d both started seeing less and less of each other after Lydie had moved to New York. Through their conversation, you get the idea that something terrible had happened to Agnes when they were in grad school. Agnes could’ve moved out if she wanted, but she believed there was no escaping from her feelings. Wherever she went, the incident would’ve continued to haunt her, so she chose to stay and face her demons.
Spoiler Alert
How did Agnes deal with the ‘Bad Thing’?
Agnes was elated when Preston Decker described her thesis as ‘extraordinary.’ She was a bright student who looked forward to a career in academics, so naturally a compliment from her mentor and professor meant a great deal to her. Lydie often teased Agnes; she was convinced that Decker was attracted to her, but that was not the kind of relationship Agnes ever wanted with her mentor. She believed if he made advances towards her, it would suggest that everything he ever said was just to get in her pants, and that would be quite heartbreaking for her. She thought Decker was someone she could discuss literature with at length, a professor she looked up to for advice. But Preston Decker turned out to be her worst nightmare.
One day, Decker invited her to his house and violated her. In Sorry, Baby, the rape referred to as the ‘Bad Thing’ is not visually shown. The camera remained fixed outside Preston Decker’s house, and the time lapse suggested the haunting hours that passed by. The decision to not let the camera enter the space where Agnes was violated can be interpreted as a literal absence of witness to the crime Decker committed, or it can also be seen as a tool used to keep the audience from entering the space that Agnes actively wanted to bury somewhere deep inside. Suggesting that the character would’ve never wanted the audience to have a memory of the act.
Agnes was confused and shaken. She somehow managed to drive home, and she narrated the entire incident to Lydie. She carefully tried to remember every detail; it was evident that she couldn’t help but wonder if she had given any mixed signals, but over and over again she recalled making it very clear that she didn’t want him to touch her. The next morning, Agnes went to a hospital to get tested, and Lydie accompanied her. Agnes and Lydie were appalled with the way the doctor who was assigned Agnes’ case dealt with them. He claimed to be following the protocols, but his lack of empathy was evident. Agnes soon discovered that Decker had taken a transfer to New York. He knew what he’d done, and he was scared. Before Agnes could take any legal action against him, he ran away. When Agnes filed an official complaint at her institution, she was told that they could not take any steps since he’d already left. Agnes couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of her situation. The authority figures dryly stated that they knew what she was going through because “we’re women.” As if that would make Agnes feel any better! It just goes to show how often there is a lack of sensitivity when it comes to dealing with survivors of sexual assault.
Agnes had considered burning down Decker’s office, and Lydie was ready to join her as well, but she chose not to go ahead with her destructive plan. She didn’t know what would make her feel any better, and when she spotted an abandoned cat on the road, she was immediately drawn to it. Loving and nurturing the cat was exactly the kind of affectionate distraction that Agnes had been searching for. The four-legged creature had unknowingly given a meaning to her existence—someone to look forward to. One of the most powerful scenes in Sorry, Baby is when Agnes covered the glass window of her room with pages from her thesis. She had this feeling that there was someone watching her from a distance—perhaps it was Preston Decker, or simply a physical manifestation of the horror and dread she constantly lived with. Regardless, she didn’t want the world outside to peek into her room, so she decided to cover it. The pages of the thesis almost acted like a mirror—she knew it would remind the predator of the crime he committed, and it was the only way Agnes thought she would feel safe in her own room. Agnes chose not to get the cops involved. She didn’t have enough evidence to put him behind bars, and she couldn’t get over the fact that he was also a father. She wanted him to reflect on his actions, but she didn’t think locking him up would drastically change him.
What caused Agnes’s panic attack?
Three years had passed since the Bad Thing, and Agnes was promoted to a full-time position at the Grad School. She was chosen to fill the open spot after Preston left, and it was a bittersweet moment for her. Career-wise, this was pretty much what she needed, but settling in Preston’s room was extremely uneasy for her. Every time someone described her as ‘extraordinary,’ she was reminded of him and how little the word truly meant. Even though time had passed, the wound was still fresh.
Her former classmate and colleague, Natasha, was deeply offended when she learned about Agnes’ promotion; she was a part-time teacher, and she’d been eyeing the spot for long. She confronted Agnes, reminding her that she didn’t deserve the position and that she had always had it very easy. When she mentioned Decker, Agnes felt the need to clarify that she had come to realize that he’d actually always despised her. She was of the opinion that if he’d even respected her, he wouldn’t have done what he did. Natasha added that she had been physically intimate with Decker in the hopes of getting in-person notes on her thesis, but he didn’t even care to do it. It seemed Natasha had convinced herself that she wasn’t forced into the situation. But considering all that she wanted from her mentor was notes on her thesis (literally what he is supposed to do as a mentor), and she felt compelled to sleep with him, it suggests that he made her feel that the only way to achieve academic excellence was by getting intimate. And the worst part—he didn’t even live up to the promise.
Agnes felt a range of emotions, but mostly panic. She was reminded of everything that she actively tried to forget on a regular basis. When she parked her car on the side of the road, the owner of a sandwich shop walked up to her. His son too often had panic attacks, so he knew a breathing technique that usually helped his son calm down. It worked, and Agnes felt a little better. The man offered her a sandwich, and they got talking. Agnes mentioned how she often chose not to talk about the Bad Thing because she could see the fear that people had in their eyes for her. She was healing, but there were days like this when things were tougher than usual. But then unexpected empathy and love from strangers, like the sandwich shop man, made Agnes feel hopeful. Every time she doubted her will to survive, someone showed up (be it her best friend Lydie, her cat, or even a stranger) and reminded her that there were layers to existence and helped her navigate a world beyond the Bad Thing.
Did Agnes and Gavin’s relationship work out?
Agnes developed a somewhat friendly relationship with her neighbor, Gavin. She often felt lonely, and he was decent company. They got physically intimate time and again, but Agnes was not ready to call it a relationship yet. She was not in love with him—he was just someone she felt a little less lonely with. On the contrary, Gavin was in search of romance and a family life. One night, he asked Agnes if she wanted a family in the future, and when she said no, he persistently tried to convince her how a settled life was what everyone secretly aimed for. Agnes couldn’t really think about her future; she always said that she didn’t see herself getting old or having kids. She enjoyed living in the present, and her best friend and her cat were enough for her. Even after Agnes clearly stated that she didn’t see kids in her future, Gavin went on to say that she would be a great mother. He strongly believed that what people wanted from their lives kept on changing, so Agnes not wanting to be a mother wasn’t a fixed idea, at least for Gavin. The conversation left Agnes feeling uncomfortable. Here was a man trying to convince her what her expectations from her life should be. He couldn’t really accept the fact that her goals didn’t align with his, and the only way he knew how to make it work was by dictating that she change her goals altogether! Agnes and Gavin’s relationship was not meant to work out. Instead of trying to understand Agnes, Gavin overwhelmed her with his goals and expectations. She was coping with a scarring past, and staying present was all that she expected from herself, so a future was not really something that she cared for.
What does the final scene suggest?
During Sorry, Baby’s ending, Lydie arrived at Agnes’ house, this time with her partner and her infant. Agnes felt awkward when she greeted Janie, and she immediately started to cry. Considering it always used to be her and Lydie spending their days together without worrying about the world, this sudden change was a little difficult for Agnes to process. They’d planned a visit to the lighthouse together, but since the baby didn’t sleep well, Fran decided to stay back. Agnes noticed the disappointment on Lydie’s face, so she decided to let Fran and Lydie visit the lighthouse while she stayed at home with Janie. Fran was a little hesitant, considering Agnes clearly had no experience taking care of a baby, but Lydie trusted her. Agnes was nervous as well, but she felt this was the least she could do for her best friend.
Agnes’s honest dialogue with the baby was hilarious. She couldn’t help but state how insane she looked with only skin and a little hair! She held the baby in her arms and sat in the sunroom. Agnes admired the fragile little being and decided to use the moment to establish that she would forever be a safe space for her. She hoped that the baby would grow up to share her darkest thoughts with her—she knew that even if the rest of the world failed to understand her and looked at her a certain way, she would never do that. She would always understand. Agnes apologized for the world being terrible and for the bad things that would eventually happen to her, though she hoped with all her heart that they never did. As a survivor, she had come to realize that it was almost impossible to stop the bad, and the only silver lining to life was the non-judgmental people who cared to listen. Agnes perhaps would have given up on life if she didn’t have Lydie by her side. She had been with her through thick and thin. She listened to all of Agnes’ thoughts carefully and was there to hold her hands when life got unpredictable. Agnes hoped to be a support system to the baby, just as her mother was to her. She knew she couldn’t protect Janie from the demons of the world, but she sure could listen and hold her tight whenever the road got bumpy.
Sorry, Baby’s ending suggests that Janie would soon become an integral part of Agnes’ life. She felt a sense of responsibility towards the baby, and that might just be another reason why Agnes would continue to push aside her morbid thoughts and hold onto the little hope that life presented her with.
