The Netflix documentary Sweet Bobby: My Catfish Nightmare makes us privy to the dark side of social media culture and how an innocent woman became a victim of catfishing. The fact that surprised me the most was that she was kept in the dark for almost a decade, and she had no clue that she had been talking to an imposter. Harkirat “Kirat” Kaur Assi connected with Bobby Jandu on Facebook, and both of them started talking. Kirat was in that phase of life when her friends were getting married, and she didn’t have any potential prospects, which somewhere made her feel something of a void within her. Kirat bumped into the real Bobby in a club in 2011, and that, I believe, was a very important event in the scheme of things. I say that because it made Kirat believe that whoever she was talking to on Facebook was an actual person. I feel that was one of the main reasons why, even after years of deception, she didn’t have any doubts about the credibility of the man. Bobby told Kirat during their online chat that he and his wife were going to separate from each other. Kirat didn’t hear from Bobby after that for a prolonged period of time. She felt that he might be going through a lot, but then one day she got a message from him, and Bobby told her that he was getting married again. For a moment, Kirat felt that the entire thing was just a rebound for him, but she didn’t say anything at that moment. Then, all of a sudden, Bobby informed Kirat that he was stuck in a mess and that he’d been shot six times by anonymous assailants in Kenya. He told her that one of his business deals had gone wrong, and he was being taken to the USA by Interpol. Kirat got more worried about him because she didn’t know how she could help him.
The next thing Kirat got to know was that Bobby was getting a divorce from Sanj, as she didn’t want to be with a man who was involved in such life-threatening conflicts. Kirat felt bad for Bobby, and she made sure that at least she was there for him at all times. There came a time when even Kirat felt a bit scared about whatever Bobby was facing in his professional life. She knew how things were in Kenya, and she knew that by talking to him she could be putting her life at risk, but Kirat kept talking, and then one day, out of nowhere, Bobby told her that he liked her. Kirat didn’t know how to respond to it, but deep down, she felt quite nice about the way he expressed his feelings. Bobby was a persistent man, and eventually, Kirat gave in. For the first time, after her breakup with her long-term boyfriend, Kirat felt something for someone. She didn’t want to let go of the opportunity even when she knew that she hadn’t met the man in real life.
Bobby made all sorts of excuses, but he didn’t come to meet Kirat even once. He told her that he was under witness protection and that leaving the country was not something that he could do easily. Also, he made up all sorts of fake stories about his deteriorating health and how he had been in a coma. During that period, Kirat got so paranoid that she asked her cousin, Simran, to just go and check on him since she knew that the latter was going to the US for some personal work. Simran checked on Bobby and told Kirat that he was doing well. Bobby and Kirat started talking about their marriage, and that’s when the latter told him to at least come and meet her once. Bobby told Kirat that he would come to attend her grandmother’s funeral, and he didn’t turn up for it. Moreover, to make matters worse, he started gaslighting and controlling Kirat in ways that even she hadn’t imagined. Whatever Kirat had to go through took a toll on her health. She started losing weight, and her family members also got worried about her. Kirat decided that she had had enough, and she hired a private investigator to look into Bobby’s whereabouts. The private investigator told Kirat that Bobby was staying an hour away from London in a place called Brighton. Kirat went there, and that’s when she got the biggest shock of her life. She realized that she had been conned. Bobby was happily married to Sanj, and he was even taken aback when he learned that somebody had stolen his identity and committed such a scam. Today, Bobby lives in Brighton with his family, though he still hasn’t healed from the trauma of whatever happened in the past.
For all those years, Kirat wasn’t talking to Bobby but her own cousin Simran, who, for some unknown reason, just played along and betrayed her own sister. Kirat was livid, and for days, she could not really understand if what had happened to her was reality or if it was her imagination. Kirat had no option but to make peace with whatever had happened to her in her life. Simran Bhogal chose not to show up and defend herself in Sweet Bobby: My Catfish Nightmare, and so we never really got to know her narrative. But in real life, Simran did pay Kirat damages, and both parties reached an out-of-court settlement. As for Kirat, she didn’t let her traumas bog her down. She fought the odds and kept on going ahead in her life. Today, she lives in London and works as a radio presenter for “Desi Radio.” She produces and presents Bhangra Roadshow in both English and Punjabi.
