Netflix’s The Girlfriend is the story of a girl who had been oppressed her entire life. Such was the influence of the dominating men in her life that she had forgotten her own individuality, and in fact, she was made to feel guilty if she ever did something that made her feel happy. So let’s find out what Bhooma’s story was, how she became the person she did, and if she was able to find her freedom.
Spoiler Alert
Why did Bhooma have submissive behavior?
The moment anybody saw Bhooma’s body language, the way she walked, the way she spoke (or rather whispered) or the way she ate, they realized that she had an introverted and submissive personality. It was like she had caged herself, and no matter what happened, she never expressed herself. She had come to the university to pursue a masters in literature, and she just wanted to focus on that. Anybody who acts this way has gone through certain experiences that lead them to be like that. Everybody wants to express themselves; they want to feel liberated, but sometimes your circumstances do not let you do that. And then over a period of time, that becomes an integral part of your personality. In a flashback sequence, we were shown the kind of childhood Bhooma had. Her mother had passed away while giving birth to her, and she was brought up by her father. One time, Bhooma spent a weekend at her aunt’s place, and she really enjoyed being with her cousin sister. Bhooma’s father got angry at her because she enjoyed her time without him, and he told her to go and stay at her aunt’s place if she enjoyed her time there so much. One could say her father’s mood was bad, and so he just took out his anger on her. But imagine the kind of impact it would have had on a child’s subconscious mind. She would have felt that she had committed a blunder by going to her aunt’s place and having fun. She felt guilty for enjoying her time in the absence of her father. I believe there would have been many such instances in Bhooma’s childhood, which would have made her an introverted human being. She stopped having fun altogether, as if it was a sin to do that. Bhooma never lived her life on her own terms, and so she didn’t know what real freedom was. Being a woman in a patriarchal society, she believed that that was how morally upright women had to be. She’d always wanted to write, but she never had the confidence to do so, and I believe her father was to blame for it. But that doesn’t mean that he hated her. He loved his daughter, and he didn’t know how his behavior had hampered her personality, her confidence, and the damage it had done to her self-esteem. I believe this kind of upbringing is as dangerous l, if not more, than physical abuse. At least if a parent is wrong (say, for example, they are abusive or doing anything that is against the law), then at least society will make them feel that they are not treating their child properly. But in such cases, nobody sees how claustrophobic a child feels, because such behavior could easily be mistaken for love or care. I am not saying that her father intentionally wanted to harm her, but unknowingly he had damaged her and made her extremely underconfident, even when she was such a talented girl.
How did Bhooma start dating Vikram?
Vikram was one of the most popular guys in college. All the girls aspired to date him, and all the guys wanted to hang out with him. He might have been a talented human being, and obviously he was good-looking too, but he was the most regressive and patriarchal human being one could ever come across. A girl named Durga got infatuated with him, and she told him that she liked him. Durga was a talented and beautiful girl, and I didn’t understand what she saw in him. Also, the way she tried to impose herself on him seemed very absurd and unrealistic. I would like to point out here that I felt like that because the dialogue was very cringeworthy, and nobody in this day and age speaks like that. Maybe if the scene would have been executed properly, I would have still bought it. In my view, all the moments where the makers tried to present the characters as cool or highlight their supposed charm and charisma were written quite poorly. Anyways, Vikram made it pretty clear to Durga that she was not the kind of girl he wanted to be with. She apparently didn’t fit the image he had in his mind of a girl who could be his wife. Then, one day Vikram saw Bhooma, and he was smitten by her. She was subdued and obedient, and that was exactly what he was looking for. Vikram was an extremely insecure person; he wanted to control the life of his partner. He literally forced himself on Bhooma and kissed her and presumed that it was his right to express his feelings in that manner. She was not able to do anything at that moment, because she felt numb, and she just couldn’t think of how to react. Vikram presumed that they were in a relationship from the very next day, and Bhooma just kept doing whatever he told her. Bhooma, as a person, was never taught to voice her opinions. She was oppressed by her father, and she didn’t know how to prioritize her feelings. She was so used to that toxic behavior that with time she surrendered to her circumstances and believed that whatever Vikram had done was because he loved her. Vikram didn’t love her; he merely liked the idea of being with a woman like her. He didn’t care about her, and he didn’t even bother to ask her what she wanted. He stopped her from meeting her male friends, as he was an insecure person. She couldn’t even blink an eye without his approval, and he gaslighted her to such an extent that she never realized he was a toxic man.
What did Durga advise Bhooma to do?
Durga and Bhooma met during college theater practice. Durga didn’t talk to Bhooma at first, because she was jealous that she was dating Vikram, but then eventually she realized that Bhooma was an extremely sweet and innocent person. It was Durga who saw, at first, what Bhooma was going through. She told her quite bluntly that she should break up with Vikram, because he didn’t deserve her. She told her that he just wanted to take control of her life, and he didn’t care if she was happy or not. That man didn’t eat if Bhooma didn’t come to the canteen; he didn’t like it if she went out with her friends. Bhooma had to literally take permission from him if she wanted to go out with her friends, and most of the time she was so scared of his reaction that she didn’t make any plans in the first place. I believe when Vikram took Bhooma to his hometown in Nasik to meet his mother, Bhooma realized what her future would look like if she ended up with a man like that. Vikram’s mother never spoke a word to anybody because of the mental torture she had gone through all her life. Her husband used to mistreat her, and she had a habit of going inside the kitchen the moment guests came to her house. She was suffering from extreme PTSD and most probably other mental health disorders too. Vikram didn’t see that. He believed that his mother was an ideal wife, a perfect woman who worked day and night like a slave. In fact, she took Vikram’s shoes the moment he took them off and kept them in the shoe rack. Bhooma found it extremely weird, as she was his mother, and she was probably doing it as a reflex because of the physical abuse she’d experienced in the past. Bhooma saw herself in Vikram’s mother, and she decided to tell Vikram that she didn’t want to be with him. In fact, she never loved him, because she never got an opportunity to understand what she felt for him. And obviously she didn’t have a habit of prioritizing herself before anybody else, and so people walked all over her and she went on as if it was the most natural thing to do.
How Did Bhooma Take A Stand Against Vikram?
Bhooma, after coming back from Vikram’s house, tried to tell him that she didn’t want to be with him. But she wasn’t able to say it, as she was too intimidated by him. At the end of The Girlfriend, all hell broke loose when Bhooma’s father arrived at her hostel and found Vikram in her room. Her father and Vikram had a huge argument, and things got really out of hand. Bhooma’s father wanted to get her terminated from college and take her back with him. But where there were such regressive and pathetic men, there were also people like Professor Sudheer, who were very progressive and egalitarian in their approach. Prof. Sudheer told Bhooma’s father that his daughter was an adult, and she was capable of making her own choices. Bhooma’s father had no choice but to go back, raging in anger. It was then that Bhooma decided that she needed to part ways with Vikram, as she was not able to keep up with the charade. And moreover, she didn’t have any feelings for him. And why would she? That man didn’t give her space to breathe, let alone be happy.
Bhooma told Vikram that she no longer wished to be with him, and he reacted as you’d expect, like every man who feels he is superior to everybody else. Vikram made it the purpose of his life to ruin Bhooma’s life. He questioned her character, hurled all kinds of abuse at her, and in fact went and painted all kinds of lewd things on her hostel room door. Bhooma was angry; she felt tortured, and she realized that there was no point in hiding and being scared of a man like him. During the college farewell function, Bhooma went on stage and told the world what she had done and why Vikram was adamant about ruining her life. She dared him in front of the entire college to do anything to her. She made it very clear that she had not done anything wrong, and even if she did, he didn’t have the right to harass her.
I believe Vikram never met Bhooma after that day. Bhooma went on to complete her master’s, and soon she got an amazing job. She never left her father, because she knew that she had to be better than him. She knew that if she left him and took out her anger on him, there would be no difference between them. After a point in time, she went to work abroad, and she finally found the courage to write and make her work public. Bhooma knew that she didn’t need a man to tell her what choices she should make. She wanted to be with a man who understood her and treated her like an equal. And she was very content and happy even if she didn’t find one. Bhooma learned to live her life on her terms, and I believe she started prioritizing herself over anybody, any other man in her life.
