Okay, so this is my first time watching “The Traitors,” and I don’t think I have any regrets about not having watched it before. I’ve never been interested in reality TV, and this seems like the game show for the reality TV stars, so I’m already quite checked out, but also the only thing keeping me here at all is Alan Cumming, and his absurd fits, oh, and that fun Scottish accent. But I’ve got to give it to the editors, because there’s something about the show that’s already got me choosing sides, and it’s not the players (well, maybe a little), nor the games themselves; I just feel like since the show is called “The Traitors,” it only makes sense to side with them, no? As a big fan of Korean media, I’ve experienced my fair share of pretty much this exact game, usually among a group of people that I really like, so it becomes really hard to choose who you want to root for. In this case, I didn’t have such a problem, and I guess that mafia game definitely prepared me a little for what was coming. Interestingly enough, the one guy I immediately recognized was, in fact, a Korean star, Eric Nam. Anyway, without further ado, I’ll jump straight into the first three episodes, because y’all aren’t here to see me rant about the dull nature of reality game shows.
Who Are The Traitors?
To make the show extra interesting, there are 4 traitors, but one of them is a secret traitor that even the other traitors don’t know about. This definitely adds an element of surprise to the otherwise basic format of the game. The three traitors we do know about are Candiace, Lisa Rinna, and Rob R, whose first words on the show are “I haven’t kissed anyone yet.” Man, these “Love Island” kids, amirite? Since I haven’t seen this show ever before, I’m not super well-versed with how it works in terms of how there’s a certain number of housewives and gamers on the show, like that’s a given. But apparently, there are no gamers on the traitors’ team, which I found quite interesting.
Who’s The First Player To Get Murdered?
There’s definitely a lot of drama around this show, but don’t worry, it still doesn’t interest me. Anyway, the show begins with Alan secretly showing the people who the traitors are and who the faithful are. Immediately, people are trying to make up their minds on who’s what just by their expressions from this interaction. There are a few names that immediately grab attention, like Donna Kelce, who gets called American Mama by a few people. I guess being Taylor Swift’s mother-in-law does come with some perks, but we’ll get to that in a bit. Then there’s Michael Rapaport, who immediately gets under your skin, not just in a creepy way though, but in the most exasperating way ever. Sorry, but if I were in this game, I wouldn’t care what team I was on; I’d want him gone. Just the cadence of his voice and all the yelling are enough for me to want him out.
In the first round, the secret traitor is supposed to make a list of the players who they want out, and then Candiace, Lisa, and Rob get to decide who goes. The first mission is a water-based game, something I was not expecting from this show. I thought it was a permanent round table conference, so that was a bit of a surprise for me. There are 3 teams and coffins in the water, but a lot of them are empty, so the teams are meant to retrieve the ones with money in them. Oh look, it’s rich people playing games for more money! Okay, so for each coffin that comes back to land within the next 45 mins, 2500 dollars gets added to the total take-home prize money. But, more importantly, the graves have the names of the contestants, and if there’s a coffin in their grave, that means they’re in danger of getting killed. There’s a lot of drama here, and mainly Michael is throwing hands, but also some people are taking on the role of leaders, while others just take it easy a little bit. However, the ones whose graves are full are the most worried. Lucky for Porsha, time’s up, so she gets saved. 22,500 dollars is the total they make on this mission. The next thing you know, the person who gets murdered that night is Ian, but I’m not going to lie, I was worried for Eric. Now, they know Ian is not the secret traitor, so good on them.
Who Is The Secret Traitor?
In episode 2, the mission is to go to the castle, dragging thrones through a long forest, while searching for bags of gold on the way. The gold is worth 24,000 dollars, which has to be put in a treasure box on the thrones. But the really exciting thing is that those who sit on the thrones basically get to use them as safehouses, i.e., they’re shielded from being murdered that night. This game seems to be going fine because the 3 lightest girls, Candiace, Tiffany, and Caroline, get to sit on the thrones. It’s easy to drag them along, but the important thing is to make it by 45 minutes. But interestingly, they’re also switchable, because if someone finds a token, they get to switch with those on the throne. But in the ultimate switch, Yam Yam basically steals Maura’s throne, which leads to Michael suspecting him later on. So finally, it’s Colton, Caroline (the only one who got to stay), and Yam Yam who get shielded.
Now, Porsha’s been making huge mistakes throughout the first two episodes. She accidentally said she murdered Ian; she sided with the wrong people, and even said confidently that there are 4 traitors, but nobody knows this for sure, so she ends up getting targeted. Candiace tries to save Porsha by defending her as a fellow housewife, and this way she would look less suspicious too, but alas, it’s a fail, and Porsha’s picked up as the second traitor. However, she too is a faithful, making that 2-0 for Traitors, but can they keep up this winning streak?
At the end of the night, there’s an exciting little conga line, and that’s because the traitors are meant to kill in plain sight. In this case, the task is to burn a tarot card while everyone is out and about at dinner. Candiace makes a genius move and starts this conga line, which distracts everybody, leaving Rob R enough time to find the cards and make the big decision. Lisa helps out, too. If they do succeed, they finally have the chance to meet the secret traitor, but will they? Anyway, the player they murder this time is Rob C, and I’m not sure about you, but I didn’t find anything interesting about this guy, so it really didn’t matter to me.
Now there’s yet another meeting in the conference room, where everyone gets to vote yet again; a surprise vote, which would make it 4 people exiting the game in 3 episodes. This time, Michael and Yam Yam have to defend themselves, and honestly, without sounding like a broken record (like Michael singing that song), I wish they’d just picked Michael. But instead, for some reason that I could just not understand, almost everyone picked Donna except Michael and Yam Yam, who picked each other. Why did that man just write “Jam” on his board, though, sheesh? But the shocking reveal is that Donna, in fact, is the secret traitor, and honestly, I didn’t really see it coming. I thought it was one of the quiet ones like Eric or Ron. Though Ron did get in trouble for a bit because he riled everyone up against Porsha.
Who Will The Traitors Choose?
But Ron faces the consequences of this when, for the next mission, the gang has to pair up and he’s left with no partner, which leaves him as the one on the murder board immediately, i.e., he doesn’t even get to participate. In this mission, for some odd reason, the task is to collect skulls from a marsh and stack 10 of them up. But one player is locked in a cage while their partner has to do the task. Michael and Tiffany teaming up was interesting for sure. In this mission, the money gets added with each player that gets out of the cage. The most shocking thing here is that though Eric paired up with the athlete, Johnny’s the only one of the players who isn’t even able to find 10 skulls (that’s rough, man). But the sad part is, Johnny isn’t vulnerable because he’s not in the cage; only Eric is. So, that leaves Eric, Lisa (who is saved for obvious reasons), Ron, Carolin, and Kristen as the targets. Now they each get to defend themselves during a face-to-face murder, but honestly, I think we already have an answer here. I think Ron makes the most sense. Even though everyone is suspecting him, it will likely leave them all confused, no? Or maybe that gives him a free pass, in which case I’d imagine Eric’s the next target, because they believe he’s smart.
Who is your favorite traitor? Honestly, I love how Candiace is playing it, and she looks so cute in her matching fits; I kinda want her to win. Maybe that’s all I need, really. Also, that leopard print vest on Maura? Dang, she’s definitely stealing hearts with her looks, but that makes sense, considering “Love Island.” Anyway, what are your thoughts on the first three episodes? Do you think I’ll like it more with more episodes?
