We suppose a huge fight with your best friend is an important part of growing up. After all, it is a stage of learning, and we often need to practice how to be good friends. That is what Stacy and Lydia go through in You Are So Not Invited To My Bat Mitzvah when they find that they are turning into different individuals who fit in different places but still love each other. The fights between women involve a lot of feelings, and as frustrating as they can be, they also end up being a beautiful journey by themselves, which is what makes them so unique. Then there is Adam Sandler. It doesn’t seem to matter that an actor of his caliber is just not interested in experimenting with himself anymore because whatever he does is sufficiently good. This makes us think that he should have had more screen time. Adam Sandler definitely brought an energy and charm to the screen that neither Stacy nor Lydia could manage. But You Are So Not Invited To My Bat Mitzvah is about them, so let us see what happens through this recap.
Spoiler Alert
Why Did Lydia And Stacy Break Up?
Wanting to be cool is a primary requirement of the teenage years and the basis of every story set around teenagers. This is why Stacy wants to organize her bat mitzvah to be the party of the century. She and her best friend, Lydia, have made elaborate plans for it and are very involved in the overall planning for each other.
Stacy’s “social status” in school has always been average, and she wants nothing more than to be one of the cool ones. While we don’t agree with her teen fantasy that landmark parties set the tone for a good adult life, we must accept that they do make good memories, ones that we like to revisit instead of just cringing at. They are important in a very specific sort of way, but for someone like Stacy, it was going to be a defining moment. She dreamed of being together with her crush, Andy, at the party. She is at that age where curly hair and a lanky frame make anyone cute, and Andy fits the bill perfectly.
Stacy also dreams of being with the cool clique of the school, and she is a little miffed that they invite Lydia instead of her. The only reason was that Lydia started wearing Tory Burch because her mother wanted to spend her husband’s money before they got divorced. It is indicative of the troublesome home life that Lydia was putting up with, but Stacy did not see that. We are not blaming her but just pointing out that insecurities can often overshadow basic empathy. Stacy tags along with Lydia to hang out with the clique, but in an attempt to impress her crush and get his attention, she ends up embarrassing herself.
A humiliated Stacy announces that she won’t have a crush on Andy anymore, but she is also angry with Lydia for letting a chuckle escape her when that incident happened. Lydia was uncomfortable and it might have been an unthinking reaction, but it was enough for Stacy. Later, when Stacy goes to make up with Lydia, she finds her kissing Andy, and that ends with her declaring that she and Lydia are no longer friends. Don’t miss here that Stacy excluded her “less cool” friends the same way she felt excluded by people cooler than her; that is the group that Lydia had started hanging out with. If she truly did not place people in a hierarchy of coolness, she wouldn’t have ever been angry with Lydia and would have been a better friend to others.
How Does Stacy Start Sabotaging Lydia’s Life?
Stacy is furious with Lydia when she starts dating Andy, and she is determined to get back at her. She spreads the rumor about an unsavory part of Lydia, and later, she purposefully sabotages her and Andy’s relationship. Stacy has made this a competition, even though Lydia is not fighting it. She places herself in the way of Andy, and though she likes him less and less, she cannot let go of what she has started because she has placed her pride on the line. Lydia and Andy break up, and the former knows that Stacy must have been behind this. However, when Stacy and Andy try to kiss in a Jewish school, that creates a ruckus as they get caught, and Stacy and her father end up having a huge fight about it. Maybe if that hadn’t been happening, Stacy would have been able to prevent an irreparable crack from opening up in her and Lydia’s relationship.
How Do Stacy And Lydia Get Back Together?
A few weeks pass between the incident with Andy and Lydia’s bat mitzvah, and given the time and distance, both are ready to put things in the past and possibly be friends again. But unknown to Stacy, something terrible has already happened. She had promised to make an introduction video for Lydia’s party when they were still friends. However, after their fight, when Stacy caught Lydia kissing Andy, she refused to do that. But in a fit of irritation, she still made a video by combining all of Lydia’s most embarrassing moments. Stacy had never sent out that video, but her mother had. She did not know about the falling out between the two friends, and when Lydia’s mother asked for the video, she just emailed it from Stacy’s computer without knowing what it was. Stacy is horrified at the video playing, and Lydia eaves in tears, unable to get back to her bat mitzvah due to the embarrassment. There is nothing Stacy can say that will set things right, and she is made an outcast because everyone thinks she did such a mean thing on purpose.
Stacy refuses to attend her own bat mitzvah, and she is not even afraid of her phone being taken away because nobody is talking to her anyway. Seeing that there is nothing they can threaten her with, Stacy’s father forcefully carries her to the ceremony. When she gets on stage, we suppose that facing everyone finally gives her the courage to say what she needs to, and she sends out an apology for the mistake that happened. After she finishes her prayers, she immediately goes to Lydia’s house to apologize to her, but her former best friend wants nothing to do with her. Stacy has been terrible, and Lydia is correct when she is unwilling to accept her apology. Therefore, Stacy knows that she needs to show her sincerity in some other way.
During You Are So Not Invited To My Bat Mitzvah’s ending, Stacy finally knows how to set things right, and it is by dedicating her party to Lydia. The bat mitzvah had meant a lot to Stacy, and by giving it to Lydia to make up for the bat mitzvah that was ruined, Stacy has proved that she is genuinely sorry. This move finally earns Lydia’s trust once again, and the two become best friends.
Final Thoughts
You Are So Not Invited To My Bat Mitzvah is a movie for teenagers. These are lessons that women have already learned, so it may all feel a little simplistic, but on the other hand, it can also be a nostalgic trip for us to remember how we made up and fought with our best friends. It could have been a bit shorter, but that completely depends on how much you feel invested in the story. Otherwise, it is a decent story.
