‘Squared Love’ Summary & Rant – A Botched Up Drama


Netflix describes the film Squared Love (polish: Milosc do kwadratu) something like this: “A celebrity Journalist and Renowned Womanizer starts to rethink his life choices after he falls for a mysterious model.”

Now that’s what I say is an excellently written pitch. Because the film isn’t even half as exciting as it sounds in the description. Maybe that is why Netflix is called the OTT giant because it knows how to sell a product even when it is evident that no attribute is attractive enough to be sold on its merit.

The film, Squared Love has been directed by Philio Zylber and written by Victor Piatkowski and Marzanna Polit.

‘Squared Love’ Summary

A celebrity journalist named Enzo aka Stephan starts to shoot for an advertisement for a big car brand. Now how come a journalist is doing a model’s job is out of my understanding. Somewhere down the line, they do talk about how he has become the face of the brand and how his presence has made their marketing moves quite successful. But nobody knows why. Maybe to bring more credibility only they have created this backstory where he was a journalist earlier but now is into modeling.

Nevertheless, he is shown to be a womanizer who hits on everything he sees. He is dishonest and unfaithful and often indulges in infidelity. He is not at all responsible and not serious about even his work. His unprofessionalism becomes a matter of concern for everybody.

But then he is our protagonist. And the protagonist of a commercial flick is infallible even when his mere existence feels like a mistake. Somehow the writers of such a script are always able to show the character in a good light. They want you to believe that underneath he is the noblest of all beings. Somehow after his partner, Alicja, throws him out of the house he has no place to go even after being such a big shot. Also not to forget he has only one airbag full of possessions( but we can leave that for now, as there are many bizarre things happening around).

Then comes our leading lady, Monika aka Klaudia. She is a teacher by day and a model by night. One wig is what she needs to live these two different lives. But she is achieving success of the highest order in both fields. On one end she is getting huge advertising projects such that her holdings can be seen on every signal. On the other hand, she is a teacher who wants to try unconventional methods of teaching because she believes that the education system needs to be reformed.

She never tells anyone of the lingerie kind of shoots because she is too ashamed of the job (so that is why the transformative magical wig).

She does an advertisement with our celebrity journalist turned model and they both fall for each other. But then complexities arise. And that too grave one. On one side Alicja who also works with Enzo in the marketing agency turns out to be a wamp as she can’t see Enzo and Monika together. Why Monika falls for Enzo is also out of my understanding. There is no logic behind it but then this film is operating at a much higher realm.

The Perfect Ending

Everything falls into place in the end. And by everything, I do mean everything. There are no regrets or failures. Life in this realm is justice personified. Monika gets appreciated as the teacher, her advertisement becomes a big hit and she ends up with Enzo. He too becomes the best partner ever and also realizes his responsibilities.

It is all very convenient in this larger than fiction world.

The writers have tried to add all the gimmicks and toys in the film to make it commercially viable. They have worked on everything except the script itself. The actors have a charming screen presence but since they got such an enticing character graph to play with, they also couldn’t do much about it. There are two specific scenes that stand out. Both times Enzo’s niece faints. And the way she has been operated upon by Monika would leave even the most renowned scientists awestruck. They also wouldn’t have imagined that medical sciences could progress so much in such a short time. 

Squared Love, streaming on Netflix is a perfect example of what Polish films are not known for. If you have an ample amount of time then do watch the film and share my plight.

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Sushrut Gopesh
Sushrut Gopesh
I came to Mumbai to bring characters to life. I like to dwell in the cinematic world and ponder over philosophical thoughts. I believe in the kind of cinema that not necessarily makes you laugh or cry but moves something inside you.

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